quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
