I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
