Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
