...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
