My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
thus making me awesome and them whores
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
