My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
so much tequila, so little girl.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize