shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's rum buckets o'clock
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
