wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
