last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
porn star boner night. come get it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize