Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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