why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
