and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
