I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize