Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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