I wish I could punch you in the face.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
