I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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