I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just invented taco cereal.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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