Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
