That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
