that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
