You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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