No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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