Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
