i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
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