I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize