I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
