That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
