the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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