she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
