She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
