i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
