porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
