He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
