i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
