Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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