ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
