So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
