She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
