the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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