I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
