Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm getting married
To pizza
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
