You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
