I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
