I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
