the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
