Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
