I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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