are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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