dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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