Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
