She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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