they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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