You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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