PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
