I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
