Do you still have your period?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
