Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
