i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
