i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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