We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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