It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
