i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
