the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
