Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
