Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
