Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
