We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
