The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
