I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
