Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
how drunk are you?
Several
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize