it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
