I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
