Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
