In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
