Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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