im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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